Good mental health means the ability to cope with the normal ups and downs of life. We are all born resilient.
As toddlers, we fall over and get back up and as adults we use this in-built power to deal with whatever life throws at us. But for some of us, that resilience gets knocked out of us. The good news is that it can be re-built.
I now run Mental Health in Business, a company dedicated to helping improve wellbeing. We recently trained the Supported Housing team at Karbon Homes to become Mental Health Allies, so they can help anyone experiencing mental health issues or emotional distress.
Steve’s story
I’ve always been around mental health issues. My mum was not well when I was growing up. She was eventually diagnosed with what was called manic depression back in the 80s – now called bi-polar.
My parents separated when I was 12 but by then I’d gravitated to things that helped me to escape. Substances and alcohol made me feel better – at least in the short term. My own issues with depression and anxiety began to build in my teens. Panic attacks started and at 19 I began to fall apart.
Despite my struggles, I started my own business in the music industry and built it up to be quite successful. To the outside world I seemed calm and in control but internally there was a lot going on. I got very good at acting and hiding my pain.
The way I coped was to hide away. My world got so small that my family became very worried. They reached out to me but I didn’t want to be a burden to them.
The turning point
Finally, I decided I had to change things. I’d talked to my GP in the past and had had some success with medication but it needed a greater effort from me. I made a pact with myself to try absolutely everything. To keep an open mind and push past my anxiety.
The turning point was a course of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy), which really challenged me to start thinking differently. I distanced myself from friends who led me to behaviours I needed to avoid. I forced myself to leave the house and meet new, like-minded people. I booked myself onto a personal development course and came away with tools and insights to understand myself more.
I felt so inspired by the changes I’d made that I decided to train as a life coach. I sold my music business to do that fulltime and in 2018 I met my partner, Claire. Together we set up our own company to share our life experiences to help others facing similar struggles. It’s been a long journey but life is now so fulfilling.
Steve’s tips to strengthen your mental resilience
Don’t hide away
It’s easy to disappear into your own head to try to figure out a solution to your turmoil. I realised that more thinking time led me to a negative spiral of ‘what ifs’, which then led to low mood and depression.
Switch the focus
I find this especially helpful before I go to sleep, when my thoughts are whirring. I make an effort to redirect my mind to thinking of three things that happened that day that I enjoyed. It can be very soothing, hopeful and reassuring.
Move around
If your mood is very low, your nervous system’s response is fight, flight or freeze. If the freeze response is at play you almost cannot move. But I found I could break the cycle of distress by getting
And breathe…
There’s a clear link between emotions and breathing. By controlling our breathing, we can control how we feel.
4-7-8
This simple breathing exercise is great for relaxation. See what feels best – in and out through the nose or in through the nose and out through the mouth.
- Breathe in for 4 seconds
- Hold your breath for 7 seconds
- Breathe out slowly for 8 seconds
- Repeat for 1-2 minutes
- Try 3 rounds to begin with (with 10-15 seconds pause between each)
Our Foundations for Life team offer a course on Building Emotional Resilience, giving you the tools to tackle difficult situations in everyday life and reduce stress. If you, or someone you know could benefit from this course, please contact our Foundations for Life team at foundations@karbonhomes.co.uk or by calling 0191 223 8750.
Find out more about our Foundations for Life courses over on page 12.
Good mental health means the ability to cope with the normal ups and downs of life. We are all born resilient.
As toddlers, we fall over and get back up and as adults we use this in-built power to deal with whatever life throws at us. But for some of us, that resilience gets knocked out of us. The good news is that it can be re-built.
I now run Mental Health in Business, a company dedicated to helping improve wellbeing. We recently trained the Supported Housing team at Karbon Homes to become Mental Health Allies, so they can help anyone experiencing mental health issues or emotional distress.
Steve’s story
I’ve always been around mental health issues. My mum was not well when I was growing up. She was eventually diagnosed with what was called manic depression back in the 80s – now called bi-polar.
My parents separated when I was 12 but by then I’d gravitated to things that helped me to escape. Substances and alcohol made me feel better – at least in the short term. My own issues with depression and anxiety began to build in my teens. Panic attacks started and at 19 I began to fall apart.
Despite my struggles, I started my own business in the music industry and built it up to be quite successful. To the outside world I seemed calm and in control but internally there was a lot going on. I got very good at acting and hiding my pain.
The way I coped was to hide away. My world got so small that my family became very worried. They reached out to me but I didn’t want to be a burden to them.
The turning point
Finally, I decided I had to change things. I’d talked to my GP in the past and had had some success with medication but it needed a greater effort from me. I made a pact with myself to try absolutely everything. To keep an open mind and push past my anxiety.
The turning point was a course of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy), which really challenged me to start thinking differently. I distanced myself from friends who led me to behaviours I needed to avoid. I forced myself to leave the house and meet new, like-minded people. I booked myself onto a personal development course and came away with tools and insights to understand myself more.
I felt so inspired by the changes I’d made that I decided to train as a life coach. I sold my music business to do that fulltime and in 2018 I met my partner, Claire. Together we set up our own company to share our life experiences to help others facing similar struggles. It’s been a long journey but life is now so fulfilling.
Steve’s tips to strengthen your mental resilience
Don’t hide away
It’s easy to disappear into your own head to try to figure out a solution to your turmoil. I realised that more thinking time led me to a negative spiral of ‘what ifs’, which then led to low mood and depression.
Switch the focus
I find this especially helpful before I go to sleep, when my thoughts are whirring. I make an effort to redirect my mind to thinking of three things that happened that day that I enjoyed. It can be very soothing, hopeful and reassuring.
Move around
If your mood is very low, your nervous system’s response is fight, flight or freeze. If the freeze response is at play you almost cannot move. But I found I could break the cycle of distress by getting
And breathe…
There’s a clear link between emotions and breathing. By controlling our breathing, we can control how we feel.
4-7-8
This simple breathing exercise is great for relaxation. See what feels best – in and out through the nose or in through the nose and out through the mouth.
Our Foundations for Life team offer a course on Building Emotional Resilience, giving you the tools to tackle difficult situations in everyday life and reduce stress. If you, or someone you know could benefit from this course, please contact our Foundations for Life team at foundations@karbonhomes.co.uk or by calling 0191 223 8750.
Find out more about our Foundations for Life courses over on page 12.
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