The summer holidays can be the perfect time to remind the young people in our lives that it’s okay to not be okay. But how do you go about talking to your child or teen about such a tricky subject? Matthew Smith shares his advice, gained from painful personal experience.
“When I was ten my brother Daniel took his own life. He was 19 and he was my best friend. You’d never have thought Daniel would be the person to do that. He had always seemed happy, he had plenty of friends, a job and a future to look forward to. He never spoke of any problems he had on his mind or showed outward signs of issues with his mental health. To this day my family remains devastated by the loss and we’re no closer to understanding Daniel’s choice.
But we decided to try to do something positive about it. We wanted to try to prevent one more person from going through the same experience. So together we created the If U Care Share Foundation. We’re a charity aiming to do three things: prevention, intervention and support for those bereaved by suicide.
We truly believe that talking can save lives.
And we’re on a mission to make it normal to talk about feelings and emotions rather than burying them within. We want to change our culture to accept that it’s okay to not be okay – that feelings of fear, anger and conflict are all part of normal life – and that having a conversation about it will help everyone.
We started in 2011 and now have a full team – people drawn together through shared experience and the drive to change the future for young people and their families. One of the most powerful ways we get this message across is through fun and interactive workshops in schools, many of which are funded by Karbon Homes.”
Want to know more?
To find out more about services offered by If U Care Share or how to offer support visit ifucareshare.co.uk or call 0191 3875661.
5 ways to wellbeing (whatever your age!)
It’s widely accepted that we need to build ‘five-a-day’ into our physical health – the same is true for our mental health. At If U Care Share, we live by these five simple steps to keep ourselves well.
1 Connect with others. Social relationships act as a buffer against mental health issues.
2 Be active. Regular physical exercise helps lower anxiety and depression.
3 Take notice. Studies have shown that being aware of what is taking place in the present directly enhances your wellbeing. Savouring ‘the moment’ and heightened awareness enhances your self-understanding and allows you to make positive choices based on your own values and motivations.
4 Learn. Continuing to learn throughout life improves self-esteem and encourages social interaction and a more active life.
5 Give. Research shows that people who report a greater interest in helping others are more likely to rate themselves as happy.
You can find more information and tips on how to follow these steps at www.nhs.uk
Reaching out to your teen
It can be easy to think nice weather and time away from studies automatically equates to happy kids but that’s not always the case.
A lack of structure and pressure to make the most of every day can exacerbate problems and create new ones. But there’s always an opportunity to help by getting things out in the open.
Here are my top tips for making talking normal:
Don’t wait until there’s a problem to try to talk to your kids about their mental health. Show your willingness to listen to their problems when things are relaxed and there isn’t a burning issue to deal with.
Ask how best you can help them when things get tough. Find out what signs you should look for if they are struggling.
Give them options when it comes to communicating. By creating an understanding, they’ll know they can choose whatever communication style feels best for them. Face-to-face conversations can be especially hard for young people, so give them alternative suggestions like sending a text or writing a letter, if that would make them feel more comfortable and in control when sharing what’s on their mind.
"Karbon has worked with Matthew and the team from the beginning and supported the charity in many ways. They are truly inspirational people who are using their own painful experiences to save other young lives. Let us know if we can help to support a community project you run. Drop us an email on communications@karbonhomes.co.uk or visit www.karbonhomes.co.uk/community-funding
Paul Hadden, Community Connector
The summer holidays can be the perfect time to remind the young people in our lives that it’s okay to not be okay. But how do you go about talking to your child or teen about such a tricky subject? Matthew Smith shares his advice, gained from painful personal experience.
“When I was ten my brother Daniel took his own life. He was 19 and he was my best friend. You’d never have thought Daniel would be the person to do that. He had always seemed happy, he had plenty of friends, a job and a future to look forward to. He never spoke of any problems he had on his mind or showed outward signs of issues with his mental health. To this day my family remains devastated by the loss and we’re no closer to understanding Daniel’s choice.
But we decided to try to do something positive about it. We wanted to try to prevent one more person from going through the same experience. So together we created the If U Care Share Foundation. We’re a charity aiming to do three things: prevention, intervention and support for those bereaved by suicide.
We truly believe that talking can save lives.
And we’re on a mission to make it normal to talk about feelings and emotions rather than burying them within. We want to change our culture to accept that it’s okay to not be okay – that feelings of fear, anger and conflict are all part of normal life – and that having a conversation about it will help everyone.
We started in 2011 and now have a full team – people drawn together through shared experience and the drive to change the future for young people and their families. One of the most powerful ways we get this message across is through fun and interactive workshops in schools, many of which are funded by Karbon Homes.”
Want to know more?
To find out more about services offered by If U Care Share or how to offer support visit ifucareshare.co.uk or call 0191 3875661.
5 ways to wellbeing (whatever your age!)
It’s widely accepted that we need to build ‘five-a-day’ into our physical health – the same is true for our mental health. At If U Care Share, we live by these five simple steps to keep ourselves well.
1 Connect with others. Social relationships act as a buffer against mental health issues.
2 Be active. Regular physical exercise helps lower anxiety and depression.
3 Take notice. Studies have shown that being aware of what is taking place in the present directly enhances your wellbeing. Savouring ‘the moment’ and heightened awareness enhances your self-understanding and allows you to make positive choices based on your own values and motivations.
4 Learn. Continuing to learn throughout life improves self-esteem and encourages social interaction and a more active life.
5 Give. Research shows that people who report a greater interest in helping others are more likely to rate themselves as happy.
You can find more information and tips on how to follow these steps at www.nhs.uk
Reaching out to your teen
It can be easy to think nice weather and time away from studies automatically equates to happy kids but that’s not always the case.
A lack of structure and pressure to make the most of every day can exacerbate problems and create new ones. But there’s always an opportunity to help by getting things out in the open.
Here are my top tips for making talking normal:
Don’t wait until there’s a problem to try to talk to your kids about their mental health. Show your willingness to listen to their problems when things are relaxed and there isn’t a burning issue to deal with.
Ask how best you can help them when things get tough. Find out what signs you should look for if they are struggling.
Give them options when it comes to communicating. By creating an understanding, they’ll know they can choose whatever communication style feels best for them. Face-to-face conversations can be especially hard for young people, so give them alternative suggestions like sending a text or writing a letter, if that would make them feel more comfortable and in control when sharing what’s on their mind.
"Karbon has worked with Matthew and the team from the beginning and supported the charity in many ways. They are truly inspirational people who are using their own painful experiences to save other young lives. Let us know if we can help to support a community project you run. Drop us an email on communications@karbonhomes.co.uk or visit www.karbonhomes.co.uk/community-funding
Paul Hadden, Community Connector
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